Now we generally like to think of ourselves as being in the ‘celebrating great advertising’ business but every once in a while you have to make exceptions. And unfortunately Breitling’s latest creative offering is one of those:

Picture the scene if you will. Team Technique had just settled in front of the box to enjoy (that’ll be endure) the second half of a deeply forgettable contest between Spurs and Chelsea. Suddenly our torpor was disturbed by the first advertising break which featured a barrage of bludgeoning MOR, revving plane engines and a cast resembling chucking-out time at a Huey Lewis tribute night.

The words “Breitling. An instrument for professionals” brought the whole thing to a merciful close.

“Professional what?” we asked, having recovered from the initial shock. David Hasselhoff impersonators? Benny Hill revivalists?

To deconstruct the entire 30 seconds would be akin to shooting bi-planes in a Hercules. Suffice to say that to the untrained eye it would appear that Breitling have invented a watch (‘The Neanderthal’?) with the ability to transport the wearer back to an era in which the inhabitants communicate purely through the medium of eyebrow-raising, lip-pouting and general leering.

And yes, it is an ‘International’ execution but that as ever is the last defence of a marketing scoundrel. The damage created by lowest common denominator advertising can ruin brands for ever. And if you think we’re being cruel, be reassured – it would appear that the rest of the social community are on our side.

So come on Breitling. Do everyone and yourselves a favour. Get with the programme and produce some advertising that’s worthy of your brand and your consumers.

Chocks away!

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