As you know, James ran the London Marathon on Sunday.

What? You didn’t know he ran the marathon?

Where have you been for the last nine months?

We wish you’d told us. We’d have joined you there.

He finished in 4 hours 13 minutes in his first (and please God, let it be his last!) marathon.

And he tells us it could have been so much quicker had it not been for:

  • His running partner holding him back at every opportunity.
  • His wife interrupting him on route.
  • All the people who wanted him to stop so they could take his picture.
  • All the children who wanted to High 5 him.

It’s not right is it? A finely tuned athletic machine having his performance compromised by the concerns of mortals.

But we think it demonstrates the stature of the man that he was prepared to sacrifice his time to accommodate his adoring public and support his weaker team mate.

After all, if it hadn’t been for all those events conspiring against him, we gather he would have been up there at the front teaching those Kenyan’s and Ethiopian’s a thing or two about long distance running.

All that aside, we thought you might enjoy seeing some of the competitors who overtook him en route:

Gonzo

Gonzo

A gorilla

A gorilla

A gorilla

A camel

A rhinoceros

A rhinoceros

Athletics - Virgin Money London Marathon - London - 26/4/15 Christy Turlington Burns poses with her medal after finishing the Virgin Money London Marathon Reuters / Suzanne Plunkett Livepic

The supermodel, Christy Turlington. She finished half an hour ahead of him. This was unhelpful of her, as she was supposed to be James’s pacemaker. Unfortunately though, she didn’t know that. (Neither did Mrs James!) We suspect that her faster time was because, as an international supermodel, she received less attention from the crowd than James did?

We’re ashamed of ourselves for our cheap jokes at James’s expense. In truth we’re very impressed by his achievement, but please don’t tell him. We’d hate him to know. We’ve also enjoyed his stories of training and the day itself, but don’t tell him that either. And maybe some of those animals didn’t really overtake him after all, but it’s a funny thought…and the gorilla did!

So well deserved congratulations James, from all at Technique.

James (right), at the finish with Gary, the running partner who held him back so badly.

James (right), at the finish with Gary, the running partner who held him back so badly.